5.16.13 [11:13 pm]
This is going to be a rant about my appearance (surprise, surprise). I tried to let people take Instagram photos and such tonight, but it honestly made me sick to my stomach. I wanted to cry. I hate how I look. I hate how every part of me is wrong. I feel sick and my head is pounding. It seems so over dramatic, but I can barely stand to even look in mirrors. There’s not a single thing I like about myself. I need to be skinner. I need plastic surgery. I need to be someone else.
It would be so nice to just take a selfie and like it. I don’t want to have to take a hundred photos and maybe find one I sort of don’t hate. I see all these beautiful girls on Tumblr and Instagram and it makes me so sad. I would kill to be half as pretty as all these other girls. I guess I’m just stupid, insecure, and narcissistic.
What am I supposed to do when I barely want to leave the house for fear of how ugly and fat I am? It’s fucking exhausting.